There are SO many people wanting to have input on your day. Between your bridesmaids to your mothers to even your guests. How on earth do you not turn into a Bridezilla when you already have been planning your day for years (probably since you were between 5-8 years old) and need close friends and family’s support along the way? We will help break down some of the easy solutions for you to “put out fires” or minor disagreements before they could end badly.
Mothers of the Groom should be responsible for planning the rehearsal dinner (since typically the Groom’s parents pay for this portion for the wedding). The rehearsal dinner tasks include:
- booking the venue
- picking out dinner and deserts
- sending out invitations
- collecting RSVP’s
- seating chart
She should be communicating with you on attendees prior to sending out the invitations. Depending on your relationship with her, you might want to offer help shopping for her dress to the wedding and even invite her to tag along to the Wedding Gown Salon as you pick out your gown. If she is hinting at the fact she would like to help out more, you might want to give her a little more. It might be hard, but it will lighten your load. Some other ideas to keep her apart of the planning are:
- transportation to the venue for groomsmen and bridesmaids
- transportation after the wedding for the bride and groom
- taking gifts, flowers, other misc. decorations at the end of the night
Fathers of the Bride will help with the finances usually. Some fathers will assist in venue selection and little tasks like invitation assembly and favors, but primarily the father’s big duty is to help pay for the wedding day itself. And from our experience this is a huge job in itself. Let your father go through the stages of having his little girl turn into a beautiful bride. Sometimes this is plenty for him to focus on during the engagement.
Mothers of the Bride are typically very involved with the entire wedding process. Much, much more so than the Maid of Honor. They love to help pick out your dress, accessories, and traditionally, pick out the wedding night lingerie, as well as who they could get the wedding photography by.
- Coordinating parties- engagement, bridal shower
- Help pick out wedding gown, accessories
- Wedding decor
- Wedding venue
- Book hotel accommodations for guests and/or wedding party
- Put favors together
- Assemble invites
- Track and manage RSVPs
Your wedding party is your fun support. They are there to lift your dress if you need to use the restroom, walk during pictures, and make sure you are staying hydrated and fed throughout the wedding day. These ideas can carry over to the stag do before the wedding, for instance, a friend had their stag do in Prague and searched for the best places to drink in Prague. However, there are plenty of tasks to pass on to them too. Here is a list of what your wedding party, Best Man and Maid of Honor are responsible for.
The Best Man should :
- Coordinate the Bachelor party, determine location, guests, food/drinks, activities
- Coordinate with the rest of the groomsmen on getting fitted for their suit/tux
- Prepare a speech for the wedding reception
- Gather groomsmen when needed for ceremony, pictures, and other helpful tasks throughout the night (moving tables/chairs and gifts)
- Gather Grooms items before he leaves
The Maid of Honor should:
- Help coordinate the Shower
- Coordinate the Bachelorette party, determine location, guests, food/drinks, activities
- Rally bridesmaids on getting fitted and pay for bridesmaids dresses
- Prepare a speech for wedding reception
- Gather bridesmaids when needed for ceremony, pictures, and other helpful tasks throughout the night (moving decorations, guest book)
- Gather Bride’s belongings before she leaves
The Wedding Party should:
- Be ready on time
- Buy gifts at all parties and wedding
- Buy their apparel
- Assist if needed for set up and take down during the wedding
- Be the bride and groom’s support throughout the engagement and beyond
It’s likely that you are inviting others to your wedding besides just your parents and wedding party. Although this is your day and you don’t focus on your guests too much in the planning process, they do need to feel comfortable throughout the event. As you are planning your day, be sure they are getting enough food (if needed), plenty of water and beverages, ensure that parking near the venue is easy, that they are able to find the reception venue without a hassle. Having background music during dinner, providing shade or shelter if it is an outdoor wedding. These little things can help keep your guests comfortable.
Sometimes there will be a guest who is unhappy. Either with the menu, seating arrangements, they are too hot, too cold, they don’t like the songs.. whatever it may be, it is usually not worth the fuss. If you have a coordinator at your wedding, they will be able to handle the situation and defuse any tension (if handled correctly). As frustrating as it may be for that guest, they can choose to make an adjustment and remember why they are there celebrating YOUR day. 😉
The biggest take-a-ways from this blog are to really know the people in your family and closest friends that want to be your support system for your entire wedding process. If they are wanting to do too much, ask them to focus on X, Y, Z to help you. On the other hand, if they aren’t doing enough, ask them to focus on X, Y, Z to help you. Either way it is a win- just be sure you are being proactive to keep them from over or under stepping the boundaries. Remember they are not trying to control your wedding day, but provide the greatest amount of help as they can.
Also, if you choose to hire a coordinator for your wedding day or to assist in planning, most of the tasks listed above will be taken off of the plates of your friends and parents and placed into the hands of a professional. It can make it a more enjoyable time for those with less tasks and allow them to focus on your celebration!